Let me introduce you to Milly (the tortoiseshell) and Bobbi Jo (the tabby), two rescue cats living with my daughter Ann and her husband, Brett. This is a story of two Queens, learning to live together in peace, and their family who didn’t give up on them.
Brett and Ann enjoy hiking
Ann, our oldest daughter, met Brett in college. They’ve been married for 37 years, have three grown children (and a wonderful daughter-in-law), and live just a few miles from us.
How They Became "Cat People"
Mama Becker: How did you and Brett become cat people?
Ann: (Laughing) Honestly, we’re still amazed. We were dog people, with a beloved dog, Keenan, during our children’s growing up years. After he passed and the kids moved out, we missed having a furry creature around the house. When our son temporarily moved back in with his cat, Bobby G, we got our first taste of cat life—and loved it! Brett’s and our daughter’s allergies surprisingly didn’t flare, maybe because Bobby ate raw food. When Bobby G moved out, we missed him as much as we missed our son. That's when we decided to adopt.
Finding Bobbi Jo and Milly
Mama Becker: How did you find your kitties?
Ann: We were looking for rescue kitties who were declawed. We do not believe in declawing, but we felt fairly certain we would find rescue kitties who had been declawed and were waiting for their forever home.
Ann: We met Bobbi Jo at Miss Kitty's Cat House in Prescott. Bobbi Jo was found roaming the streets of Prescott – declawed and with virtually no teeth, really no way to defend herself. She was scared, skinny, and howled all the way to our home. It took time, but she eventually made our bedroom her kingdom. JoJo is shy and gentle—she hides from new people but becomes a world-class snuggler at bedtime.
Bobbie Jo
A year later, our daughter-in-law texted about a tortoiseshell kitty needing a home. That’s how Milly joined us. She’s younger, energetic, and endlessly entertaining— Sometimes at 10pm, she morphs into an unrecognizable whirling dervish we call “Thundering Thelma.” She literally thunders all over the upstairs, racing back and forth dramatically for no discernible reason. When Thundering Thelma comes out, Brett, JoCat and I cower together on our bed in a little protective cluster and say soothing things to each other like, “We’re safe, it’ll be over soon.”
Milly
To complicate things, Milly is younger and more energetic (and mischievous) than JoCat. Milly runs around the whole house, while JoCat mostly, quietly hangs out upstairs. Milly loves to play and is generally quite social with strangers. She purrs very loudly and can work herself into an almost roar-like lather when she’s ultra happy. Milly likes to nap on her back with her four paws straight up in the air. She’s ridiculous and precious. JoBird goes into what I call her day coma for hours on end every day, in her cat tree and preferably in the sun. She’ll get up periodically and want to play, and sometimes when we’re downstairs we hear her thundering around upstairs like a nut job. They’re both endlessly entertaining.
Introducing Two Cats
Mama Becker: Was introducing Milly and Bobbi Jo tricky?
Ann: Yes! We used the Jackson Galaxy method—slow introductions, scent swapping, and lots of patience. It’s been quite a journey, and I doubt they’ll ever be besties. But today they tolerate each other reasonably well, and they’ll lay down to nap close(ish?) to each other. There’s minimal hissing, even when Milly provokes Jo by pouncing on her. That’s pretty darn good. We’ll take it.
Mama Becker: Well, Jo and Milly are clearly deeply loved. You’ve cut vacations short to come home early because you missed your cats — even with their beloved Abby staying there to care for them when you’re gone. They are well cared for and fiercely loved!
Life with Jo and Milly
Mama Becker: You’ve really built a cat-friendly home!
Ann: Totally. We have multiple cat trees but their favorite is our Mau Ivy 3 Cat Tree, their favorite beds, toys in every room---anything to keep them stimulated. It's partly guilt because they’re indoor kitties only, and partly because we know kitties need to play and hunt and be mischievous and I absolutely love playing with them.
Mama Becker: They get a lot of playtime.
Ann: I call cat playtime my meditation time. I’m really never more present than when I’m playing with one of my kitties. There’s nothing better than seeing a couple tiny paws poking under the door or from behind a blanket in search of something you’ll offer, a ribbon or shoelace they can bat at. Cats are so funny and charming and entertaining.
Mama Becker: Please tell us about their favorite toys.
Milly loves boxes; her favorite bed is a simple cardboard box with a couple towels inside. They’re fun to play with although they’re on a different schedule than us---they come alive around 10:30pm just when we’re ready to sleep. We sigh and say to each other, “They’re crepuscular...”
Ann: Milly loves chasing feather sticks, especially the Kitty Whip on Etsy — it’s a stick with a leather string attached and our kitties go nuts. Actually, Milly’s favorite ‘feather stick’ is our daughter, Rachel’s college graduation tassel connected to the end of the stick. Jo’s obsession? A human toe separator (my husband’s) she found on the floor—she bats it around like it’s treasure. Their favorite toys are things they’ve found in the house like the tassel, empty cardboard boxes, the laundry basket, shoestrings and Brett’s toe separator! Milly also likes to play games on the iPad:
Ann: We’re so happy we discovered the joy of kitties! We had no idea that cats are this marvelous and magical! Also, we can’t end this interview without me mentioning how divine Jo and Milly both smell. Who knew cats smell so good?? How is that even possible? My kitties smell like vanilla-infused jasmine blossoms in a rain forest. Dogs? Well, not so much!
Mama Becker: Ann and Brett have created a safe, loving, healthy environment and home for their two rescue kitties. They are equally devoted to their kitties. And most importantly, they chose two adult female cats, knowing/learning it would take time and patience for the Queens to accept each other and be able to live together in relative peace. They chose to put in the time and effort to make this happen... patience paid out in the end. Eighteen months later, they have two adult Queens living peacefully (only a hiss or two weekly, nothing more!) And both Ann and Brett agree, “We can live with that!”
There is another possible side to this story. My family has also experienced living with two Queens who never accepted each other: another story coming shortly!
Love from Mama Becker
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